Had a bad day (pretending to sing the song lol)

So today was pretty much a bad day all around! Went and did arrends and rae was awful and Bryn wanted to be held the whole time! Then we got pizza for lunch and the box totally broke apart making alot of slices bad! Then getting home and my sweet little Rae asking a million questions that is cute bit today man did I want to put ear plugs in! Then it was naptime and what happened..... they didnt want to go to sleep! So I decided to pull out the cleaning machine and clean the couches! Then we played and I yelled like all day (dont do this get out of there dont pick up your sister ect) I feel so bad now for getting so upset it was just one of those days! So I said I was sorry to Rae and we cuddled in my bed and watched her tv shows and she was asleep within 5 min! She kept saying "mommy I love you" I would say I love you back and she would say I love you more! (As Im crying right now) It breaks my heart how I can be such a mean mom and she still forgives me and says how much she loves me! I really feel bad and I really want to be better! Can I blame it on the meds Im a thinking they need to be changed or something! If I dont get help the kiddos are going to hate me yelling at them all day and the hubby is going to walk out the door and not come back! I know I have been so mean and get so upset over EVERYTHING! This isnt me and I hate it! I think I am a nice sweet person but lately I just want to run away and cry! I get mad at every little thing and just freak out! After taking THREE xanax a felt a little better! And my awesome aunt kaleena knew I was having a rough day and stopped by with cupcakes! (crying again)I swear people know when you need someone at that "right time" I have had so much help and love from my family and I want to thank you all for everything you guys do for me! Im sorry if I have been rude and hurt you in any way I promise I love you its just been hard lately! Well now that I have poured my heart out and probably too much I am on to a new post!!!